Wednesday, 3 October 2012

Miss my bad....

Salam and great day...

Quite a long time I've been off from blogging..life at work requires me to work 24 hrs/7 in having my last week at this so-called my dream company, PETRONAS...

Having my few last days here have made me think and looked back... it is true when I said that 'sometimes, being selfish is important!'..why are people are simply asking rather than giving?? I just couldnt understand that...

Sometime, people come and asking you a favor, you give it...when its time you're asking them for a hand, they simply ignore it...is it worth?? 'Is it worth when you're trying so hard for other people, but they dont do the same...?'... 'Is it worth when you cares for other but they dont?'.. I know, we should always 'other's first'...but, just do something that you're sure not gonna get you down...

I miss mmy BAD...really! I miss most!!

When I was in my outstation, I suddenly found my older notes...reading it from top to bottom and it ia written like this :

"Senyum...itu yg tenang bibirku ukirkan...melihat gelagat2 manusia yg pelbagai ragam ni...penyeri kehidupan seharian, penghias suka duka, pengukir cerita dan penglipur lara...aku cuma pemerhati..bukan lagi pelakon dalam CERITA itu... =) aku yang menarik diri, memilih kembali jalan berduri yg sering aku lalui dahulu...wlupon aku tau, sakit kaki ku memijak duri2 tu, tp xpelah...sbb aku da terbiasa...terbiasa dgn duri2 berbisa tu..terbiasa dgn jalan berduri tu...jadi ku gagahi jua mengikut haluan yg aku pilih sdri ini...sumpah aku x menyesal! Sbb ape? Sbb aku tau, kalau BETUL kita CINTAkan seseorg tu, kita x patut mengalah dan bputus asa...x patut lepaskan dia pergi, dan kalau terpaksa lepaskan dia pergi, lepaskanlah dgn rela hati tanpa dendam kesumat tersimpan di dada.

And after all, 'kalau dia bahagia, aku jgk gembira'...itu yg dinamakan CINTA...mungkin aku x ckup pandai utk bcakap soal cinta, tp ini yg aku lalui, dan mmg ini yg kuat aku rasekan...'Love somebody is NOTHING! to be loved by somebody is SOMETHING! But to love and to be loved by somebody is everything!'...itu yg aku pasti... 'Dare to love someone means dare to lose them!'...sbb cinta x semestinya perlu MEMILIKI, tp ianya adalah anugerah Allah ke atas apa yg dimiliki...

Gelagat2 manusia...ape yg mereka cuba buktikan di pentas lakonan mereka? Dan aku cuma tersenyum..tersenyum jika ini adalah salah satu drpd salah sangka dan telahan mereka...lagipun bukan mereka di tempat aku...dan tidak juga aku katakan aku di tempat mereka...PERNAH aku bersama di dalam CERITA itu, tp ku akui sendiri, aku x hebat utk menjadi JUARA anugerah bintang popular kerana aku bukanlah BINTANG...aku hanya lah batu...batu yg keras...KERAS dgn pendirianku...

Tiada dendam dihati...apa yg perlu aku pamerkan lagi pada manusia2 yg sentiasa x pernah senang tgk org lain senang? Kehancuran? Itu yg mereka mahukan? Tunggu dan lihat seikhlas mana niat mereka yg akan Tuhan makbulkan...Hidup kita ni ade karma...percayalah pada karma yg telah ditetapkan oleh Allah..kdg2, aku sdri terfikir bahawa KARMA dah jadi tunggang terbalik skrg ni...what we wish for,slalunya Allah akan makbulkan...cuma kita je yg x sedar..tp bila dah lame2 baru terdetik kat hati 'haah la..dlu aku pernah mintak cam ni..'...

People come and people go...=) so, don't worry about that coz cerita-cerita silih berganti...cerita lame dibangkitkan dgn cerita baru...cerita lama akan dilupekan, cerita baru akan dibualkan...bual lah...bual selagi masih ade mulut dan slagi bibir masih lancar utk bertutur... bual lah selagi lidah masih fasih utk berkata2...nikmati segenap hidup yang kau ada sebelum semuanya ditarik balik... =) dan aku, sbgai pemerhati cuma mampu untuk menonton semua ini...merenung dan merenung ke arah skrin yang kau pamerkan sebesar alam, menanti bagaimana kesudahan CERITA ini...dan berapa lamakah masa yg diambil untuk mengakhirinya... Sbln? 2 bln? =) atau stahun? Atau maybe 4 da rest of your life? Kun Fayya Kun...jadi, maka jadilah ia...itu yg Tuhan janjikan, dan itu juga yg telah Dia tetapkan...

Gelagat manusia...yang sumbang terus sumbang, yang jelik tros jelik...yang jahil dgn kejahilannya, dan yang pandai pula terus dengan kepandaiannya... Ini pentas lakonan hidup anda...anda yang tentukan pelakon mcm mane yg anda mahu jadi...Berusahalah utk yg terbaik bagi diri ANDA...jangan pandai bercakap je...Kita hidup ni kene ada matlamat yang TERANG, JELAS dan NYATA...Supaya org x senang pijak kepala kita...supaya org x hentam kita dgn kata2 yg mulut kita keluarkan... 'Its from your mouth, so u must know what are you talking about and be able to EXPLAIN!'..."Jangan cakap je tapi habuk pon xde!"

For a second, I was wondering what was it all about? N finally I remembered...I could saw the old me..not like what am i now...so weak! N I miss my bad for fuckin serious coz I had no one right now to share neither him could not understand this! So sad! Broken hearted! Tikam laju laju! T_T

I miss my old bad...coz there it will always be for me...

I used to play with words, it was my strength! I used to play with eyes, because with it, my words became powerful..And I used to play with mind, because with all pf these three, I could control everything...My guru had gone for quite a long time...and my stronger was like gone with his dissapearance...

I miss my old bad..coz there he would know what best and what suits me...

I am not a toy to play with...
I am not like stone who doesnt have feeling!
And You'r not blind to see these!

REGRETS FOR EVERYTHINGS!
I dunno how much time do i have left...
I dunno how much longer i can stand with...
Maybe I'll just walk or run away without turning back..
Yeah, n finally....its good to be bloody selfish!
People nowadays would just could not care for each others...
So why should I???

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