Simple Recipe - ROTI WHOLEGRAIN TELUR ^_^

Salam and great day...

Tadi sebelum tengok bola Malaysia vs Singapore kat rumah, terasa lapar la pulak... Tapi taknak makan nasi, mcm berat sangat pulak sbb ptg tadi dah makan. Then ternampak lah pulak roti gardenia wholegrain yg abah beli semalam. Tetiba teringin nak makan roti telur...

Selama ni kalau buat roti telur, pakai roti gardenia yang biasa tu je... tak pernah try pulak buat roti telur pkai roti wholegrain ni... Then, acara main masak-masak pun bermula... ^_^

Apa dia bahan-bahan yang diperlukan? SENANG je! Amat mudah!~ Jom ikut resipi kat bawah : 

Roti Gardenia Wholegrain Fibremeal

Telur... Biasanya sebutir telur untuk 2 keping roti....

Yang ni benda wajib ada dalam family Syerra..."Lada berperisa Aji Shio"...

So bila dah ada semua bahan-bahan ni, ape lagi, JOM MASUK DAPUR!~ ^_^

Pecahkan telur dan tabur Aji Shio sesedap rasa....

Lepas tu kacau2 dia sampai sebati...

 

Bila da ready, jom kita masak... ^_^

Panaskan butter atas kuali leper....As u all know, butter is much more better than minyak masak... Nak masak makanan berkhasiat kan? =)

Celupkan roti tu dalam telur depan belakang..make sure fully covered...

Then, panaskan atas kuali... ^_^

Cara tak? Tukang masak rambut kaler pink!~ Mintak mahap ye!~ ^_^

DA SIAP!!!~ ^_^

 Lepas tu, ikut suka korang lah nak makan sama apa, sos cili, mayonis, black pepper sos, sambal, semua pun boleh!~ 

FYI, haa..ni nak bagitau something ni...

Bagi yang sedang atau nak mengamalkan diet, pengambilan nasi boleh juga digantikan dengan roti gandum ni... 

Sebab apa?? 

Sebab roti mempunyai kelebihannya yang tersendiri. Roti ni kaya dengan vitamin B kompleks, roti gandum yang dihasilkan macam roti gardenia wholegrain ni juga kaya dengan serat, vitamin E, zat besi, zink, asid folat dan anti oksidan. Perasan tak kalau kita makan roti wholegrain macam ni, kita cepat rasa kenyang? ^_^ Itu adalah disebabkan kandungan karbohidrat kompleks yang ada dalam roti tu...Karbohidrat kompleks ni memberikan kita rasa kenyang yang lebih lama... 

Hah kau, dah macam pakar pulak syerra ni....Ini semua info yang syerra dapat dari Dr. Rozmey... ^_^

 So, time tengok bola tadi, makan 2 keping je dah rasa kenyang giler!!~

SELAMAT MENCUBA!!~

Till then,

BUHBYE!!~ ^_^

Missing Interpersonal Communication.. =.=

Salam and great day,


Not all what we wish for will come true...and sometimes what we don't wish for will suddenly appears and make us blur and don't know what to do...


According to Steve A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebee and Mark V. Redmond in their book of Interpersonal Communication in relationship, they explained that how the relationship end. A declining relationship usually follow one of several paths.


I have experienced ending the relationship by Fading Away- me and him just drift further and further apart. We spent less time together as both of us were having a long distance relationship, thus it let more time go by between interactions and stop disclosing much about ourselves. I tell you what, long distance relationship require us a great deal of effort to maintain, so a move can easily decrease the level of intimacy.




Now, after a long time, I finally began to wrote this poem:



        Dunia dah x dipenuhi dgn angan2 lg...

        Bila aku x lg mampu utk bermimpi seperti dulu2...

        Aku x lg dpt membayangkan semua itu,

        Bagaikan bukan sahaja mata, malah hati dan juga fikiran turut menjadi buta,

        Tak mampu utk melihat, x mampu utk berperasaan, dan x mampu utk membayangkan...


        Dunia dah x dipenuhi dgn angan2 lg,

        Bila semua seakan mati,

        X lg hidup berseri2...

        x lg membawa erti,

        Cuma duka dan airmata setia menemani,

        Saat semuanya hancur menjadi keping-kepingan lara..


        Dunia dah x dipenuhi dgn angan2 lg,

        Bila aku x boleh memaksa dia menerima aku,

        Dan aku juga x boleh memaksa diriku untuk tidak berfikir tentangnya,

        X boleh memaksa diriku dari tidak mengingatinya...

        Malah x boleh juga memaksa diriku utk meninggalkannya...


        Dan dunia x lg dipenuhi angan2..

        Bila satu jasad x mampu kemana2,

        Bagaikan tersepit diantara 2 alam,

        Kebahagiaan dan keperitan,

        X mampu mengangkat kaki utk melangkah ke alam bahagia..

        Cuma terpaku di tengah2..

        Sambil merenung ke alam keperitan,

        Yang x mungkin dpt ku padamkan jejaknya...


        Dunia x lg dipenuhi dgn angan2...

        Bila keperitan ku dahulu adalah kegembiraan ku...

        X mampu untuk memadamkan jejak,

        Kerana x mahu menghilangkan kenangan didalamnya...

 


Actually, I wrote more than this post, but I don't know what I did till half of this post is missing... =.= Haishh..


Whatever it is, LIFE HAS TO GO ON, right? Making friend is the better opportunity to grab!~ Coz I believe in this, 'WHATEVER HAPPEN, FRIEND WILL NEVER LEAVE THEIR FRIEND BEHIND'....A true friend la, not a FAKE friend... ^_^

"Sekali lagi....."

Salam and great day....

Hati termati seketika tatkala membaca semua yang terpampang didepan mata...Saat ini ku rasakan jatuh tersungkur hingga menyembah bumi sekali lagi... =) tak apalah...dah tak ada rezeki nampaknya...Mungkin itu rezeki orang lain.. Jadi biarkan saja lah...

Bukan nak kecewa sangat tapi agak rasa sedikit terkilan kerana INI bukan sesuatu yang senang aku dapat...Mahu menunggu kemunculannya pun amat payah...Apatah lagi ingin memilikinya... Bila INI telah ku dapat, aku masih belum dapat memilikinya... Tak dinafikan, agak sedih...tapi tak ada lah sedih sangat...Sebab aku tau, aku harus sentiasa sedar diri.... SEDAR DIRI----> jarang sekali hendak merasa macam ni bila dikelilingi orang-orang yang biasa...

*Keluh*

Dimana silapnya agaknya...? tak sedar air mata jatuh perlahan... Syukur dengan INI yang dapat ku rasa walau hakikatnya sedih dengan INI yang tak dapat aku miliki....Ianya sesuatu yang berlainan sekali bila merasai kehadiran INI...sesuatu yang ku harap dapat sangat-sangat menjadi milikku...menggantikan apa yang tiada lagi bersamaku...

Dan sampai sekarang, masih terasa lagi kesakitan di hati yang nyata masih berbekas... Rapat mataku dipejam, menarik segala nafasku perlahan-lahan...terbayang dang masih terpahat kemas setiap apa yang dituliskan..benar! Hatiku berdarah dikala ini... Terima kasih ya Tuhan ku kerana memberi aku merasai perasaan ini... Perasaan yang selama ini dirasai oleh orang lain yang selalu ku abaikan...yang selalu aku kecewakan...amat sakit! Dan sekarang aku paham bagaimana derita sakitnya itu...

Aku tak minta banyak...cukup peluang sekali lagi untuk aku memilikinya...akan ku janji, tak akan aku persiakan semuanya...Tapi, masihkan ada peluang itu untuk ku...?

Aku tidak mahu jadi sang perampas untuk benda yang bukan milikku...kerana aku sendiri tidak mahu benda milikku dirampas oleh orang lain...kerana aku tahu bagaimanakah rasanya....

*Keluh*

Hampanya bila bertanya kembali kepada diri sendiri...benarkah bukan milikku?? Tiada peluang langsung untuk aku mencuba?? Kenapa disaat aku benar-benar bersedia, aku dikhabarkan pula dengan berita ini...?? Dimanakah tempatku selepas ini...? Di takuk yang sama? Tergari terkunci disudut itu dan tidak mampu untuk bergerak kemana-mana? Tercampak sekali lagi ke lembah kedinginan sepi tanpa ada sang peneman...??

Bukan tidak mahu berusaha, tetapi kuasa Tuhan itu terlampau amat hebat, dan tiada tandingannya...Aku cuma manusia biasa...Tiada kuasa, tiada harta dan tiada rupa....

KUN FAYYA KUN.....

Semoga diriku terus kuat mengharungi hari-hari mendatang....Bila hampir semangatku hilang, Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku, Kau tiupkanlah sedikit kekuatan ke dalam diri ku...Agar aku bisa berdiri,dan terus bersujud kepadaMu...Menanti suatu detik yang pasti untuk aku kembali kepada Mu....

"Shall I grab it, or, shall I let it.....?"

Salam and great day...

I've got this so-called opportunity, yet to be a good opportunity for me...but still, I keep questioning myself, 'shall i grab it, or, shall I let it?'....

I want to grab it..but I'm too afraid till have to let it...

I was confused with the current situation...For a while, I keep drowning and floating again and again in my own dream...What it is gonna be? I want to reach it, but I'm scared my hands are not long enough to touch it... Even if I reach and touch it, I'm afraid that it is not mine...What will gonna be?

I shall grab it...this my only opportunity at this moment....at least I shall give it a try, right? maybe this could be really good for me...Maybe this will be a great starting and beginning for me too... Maybe this is what I'm wanting all this while... And maybe this is the end of my wait....

OR,

I shall let it...Cause I'm not too strong to believe in it...Some more, I'm too afraid to face the failure...Maybe I should stay at the place where I belong...Maybe I shall let it because I don't know what is the percentage of being failure or success...And maybe by let it, it can save me from being hurt again and again....

IDK!~

For a first time, I felt this feeling once again...A feeling that is hard for me to find it...I know this rare...I know that this is not so strong...But when it can turn into mutual beneficial between two things, then can only I shout that IT CAN GOES STRONG MORE THAN EVER!

Deep in my heart, I really need this! I shall grab this!

but,

Deep in my mind, I can't stop from thinking this and that...And that's horrible!

SHALL I GRAB IT, OR, SHALL I LET IT...?

I still don't have the answers....I want to grab it but afraid I have to let it....

I know...I realized that I'm just no one...

I can't dream to high cause I know I might fall down...

I know where my feet is standing right now...

ouh....

"Journey To The Past"

Heart, don't fail me now!
Courage, don't desert me!
Don't turnback
Now that we're here
People always say
Life is full of choices
No one ever mentions fear!
Or how a road can seem so long
How the world can seem so vast
Courage see me through
Heart I'm trusting you
On this journey...to the past

Somewhere down this road
I know someone's waitingg
Years of dreams
Just can't be wrong
Arms will open wide
I'll be safe and wanted
Fin'lly home where I belong
Well, starting here, my life begins
Starting now, I'm learning fast
Courage see me through
Heart I'm trusting you
On this journey...to the past

Heart don't fail me now!
Courage don't desert me!

Home, Love, Family
There was once a time
I must have had them too
Home, Love, Family
I will never be complete
Until I find you...

One step at a time
One hope, then another
Who knows where
This road may go-
Back to who i was
On to find my future
Things my heartstill
Needs to know
Yes, let this be a sign!
Let, this road be mine!
Let it lead me to my past
Courage see me through
Heart I'm trusting you
To bring me home...
At last!
At Last!

I Need A Doctor......

 

      From Eminem's rap song, they brings into ballads....

 

They brings the rap into Destiny's Child version...

Both are my favourite voices!!~ ^_^ LIKE it very much!!~

This is the original lyric by eminem...Generally, both of the videos didn't sing accordingly to the original lyric...But still they are the BEST for me!!~ ^_^

I'm about to lose my mind
you've been gone for so long
I'm running out of time
I need a doctor
call me a doctor
I need a doctor, doctor
to bring me back to life

I told the world one day I would pay it back
say it on tape, and lay it, record it
so that one day I could play it back
but I don't even know if I believe it when I'm saying that
doubt starting to creep in, everyday it's just so grey and black
Hope - I just need a ray of that
'Cause no one sees my vision when I play it for 'em
They just say it's wack
they don't know what dope is
and I don't know if I was awake or asleep
when I wrote this,
all I know is you came to me when I was at my lowest
you picked me up, breathed new life in me
I owe my life to you
but for the life of me, I don't see why you don't see like I do
but it just dawned on me you lost a son
daemons fighting you, it's dark.
let me turn on the lights and brighten me and enlighten you
I don't think you realize what you mean to me
not the slightest clue
'Cause me and you were like a crew
I was like your sidekick
you gon either wanna fight me when I get off this fucking mic
or you gon hug me
But I'm out of options, there's nothing else I can do 'cause

I'm about to lose my mind
you've been gone for so long
I'm running out of time
I need a doctor
call me a doctor
I need a doctor, doctor
to bring me back to life

It hurts when I see you struggle
you come to me with ideas
You say they're just pieces so I'm puzzled
'Cause the shit I hear is crazy
But you're either getting lazy or you don't believe in you no more
seems like your own opinion's not one you can form
Can't make a decision you keep questioning yourself
Second guessing and it's almost like you're begging for my help
like I'm your leader
your supposed to fucking be my mentor
I can endure no more,
I demand you remember who you are
it was you who believed in me
when everyone was telling you don't sign me
Everyone at the fucking label, let's tell the truth
you risked your career for me
I know it as well as you
nobody wanted to fuck with the white boy
Dre, I'm crying in this booth
You saved my life, now maybe it's my turn to save yours
but I can never repay you, what you did for me is way more
but I ain't giving up faith and you ain't giving up on me
Get up Dre, I'm dying, I need you, come back for fuck's sake 'cause

I'm about to lose my mind
you've been gone for so long
I'm running out of time
I need a doctor
call me a doctor
I need a doctor, doctor
to bring me back to life
bring me back to life
bring me back to life

(I need a doctor, doctor
to bring me back to life)

It literally feels like a lifetime ago
but I still remember the shit like it was just yesterday though
you walked in, yellow jump suit
whole room, cracked jokes
once you got inside the booth, told you, like smoke
went through friends, some of them I put on
but they just left, they said they was riding to the death
But where the fuck are they now?
now that I need them, I don't see none of them
all I see is Slim
fuck all you fair-weather friends
all I need is him
fucking backstabbers
when the chips were down you just laughed at us
Now you 'bout to feel the fucking wrath of Aftermath, faggots
you gon see us in our lab jackets and ask us where the fuck we been?
You can kiss my indecisive ass crack, maggots, and the cracker's ass
Little Cracker Jack, beat-making wackass backwards producers
I'm back, bastards
one more CD and then I'm packing up my bags and as I'm leaving
I'll guarantee they scream, Dre don't leave us like that man 'cause

I'm about to lose my mind
you've been gone for so long
I'm running out of time
I need a doctor
call me a doctor
I need a doctor, doctor
to bring me back to life

I hope you guys enjoy the videos I attached here... ^_^

Kenapa ye.....?

Salam semua....

Kenapa ye, kalau kita dah start sukakan seseorang tu, kita mesti nak attach everything dengan dia...? hurmm...perasan tak, biasanya kalau kita dah start minat kat seseorang tu, habis semua pasal dia kita nak tau... Cuba check diri korang balik... ^^ ada tak macam tu? Bukan nak pelik apa la, tapi syerra sendiri pun macam tu jugak! >_<

Suka →  Sayang →  Cinta

Syerra dah melalui semua tu jugak dulu2...Daripada minat bertukar jadik sayang, bila dah sayang terus jatuh cinta...pergh! tak beragak! so bila dah ada perasaan bunga-bunga tu, habis semua pasal dia syerra nak tau!~ First, fasal family dia...x payah jumpa pon xpe, janji tau serba-sedikit pasal background dia...kalau dia xnak cerita pon, pandai la syerra cungkil slow2...sebab kadang-kadang, kita boleh putar sikit ayat tu supaya orang tak fikir maksud kita lain. Pandai-pandai lah jadik spin doctor oke!~ Hidup Spinner!!~ ^_^ jyeahh!~

Dan bagi syerra, kalau kita betul sayang kan seseorang tu, dan kita berhasrat nak kahwin sama dia, so kita kene kahwin sekali sama satu family dia! Ini betul tau!~ Bukan cakap saja...Kalau nak maintain hubungan tu kekal lama sampai ke akhir hayat, kene attach dengan semua benda disekeliling dia...apa yang dia paling rapat? of course family, right? so, at the same time, try to win his family's heart oke...^_^

Macam syerra dulu, bila ditanya-tanya balik 'Syerra, apa yang membuatkan kau jatuh cinta pada dunia hair salon?'....and directly my answer will goes 'sebab cinta aku berada didalam sini...' ^_^ Its true tau...Dulu syerra tak pernah tau pun pasal dunia-dunia salon ni. Selama ni, pergi salon untuk gunting rambut and syampu rambut je...taktau langsung ada teknik-teknik lain dalam buat-buat rambut orang ni...Tapi bila dah bercinta dengan hairstylist (dulu la, skrg x lg....), automatik MINAT tu terus datang! Sayang punya pasal kan, semua yang dia minat pun syerra nak minat jugak!~ supaya apa? supaya syerra dapat spend most time dengan dia...kongsi everything yang dia suka sama-sama...Dari syerra tak tahu apa-apa, sampai la sekarang ni, dah tau sikit-sikit...takde la hebat mana pun, tapi OKAY la sebab tak semua orang boleh buat kalau tak belajar... ^_^

Kalau takde minat, buatla apa kerja sekalipun, sure takkan menjadi!~

btol? ^_^ mana ada kerja tu jadi perfect kalau kena buat sebab terpaksa? ada? kalau ada, hebat la korang... (=.=) TAPI, cuba buat kerja yang korang minat, confirm 200% effort korang kasi dan hasil nya.... WALAWEII!!~ memang terbaik!!~ kan? kan? kan? so, pendek kata, kita boleh rasa sendiri kesungguhan kita tu kalau betul kita minatkan sesuatu...tu baru minat tau!~ belum sayang lagi.....kalau cinta pulak?? hah! confirm, mati pon korang sanggup! hah!~ ada macam tu? ada? ada? >_< adoooiii...jangan la sampai macam tu pulak oke....x elok jugak!~ ^_^


Orang pun kadang-kadang tanya, 'Apsal you suka sukan motocross ni? You kan girl, sukan tu lasak la!'...and syerra jawab dalam hati, 'aku peduli apa lasak ke tak lasak!~ Dah aku suka, nak wat cane??'... =P hahah!~ Syerra ni nampak je lembut tau, tapi ada sikit keras la kat dalam diri tu... Now tengah bersusah-payah kumpul duit nak beli scrambler Kawasaki klx150....7k lebih...nak cat warna dead black+pink...wew!~ Comel tapi garang!~ =P  huwaaa...bila lah syerra boleh pakai ni??? T_T sob!

Dulu, tak pernah teruja pun tengok motocross ni..pandang sebelah mata pun tak...tapi sebab dah sayang, and nak attach segala-galanya yang dia suka, suddenly i fall in love with motocross too!!~ Ouh my! Scrambler is stylo what!~ For me la...sebab bila bawak, nanti semua orang mesti nak pandang...nak-nak kalau si rider tu girl!~ Pergh! giler salute la!!~ Syerra selalu terbayang macam ni tau...dengan motocross warna dead black+pink tu, pakai suit motocross 1 set from top to toe, with kasut boot lengkap dengan protector semua untuk satu badan...mengaum di atas jalan..then, park motor, tanggalkan helmet sambil goyang-goyangkan kepala biar rambut beralun-alun...ala-ala seksi gitu!~ vahh!!~ ^_^ hahah..bole gitu? Syerra cuma diperkenalkan dengan jenama fox sebab before-before this dia order ikut katalog tu je...Certain design foxwear ni cantik tau sebab dia ada ala-ala Ed Hardy punye corak tatoo tu...

Ni helmet motocross...unfortunetaly, design bunga ros yang syerra nak mcm Ed Hardy tu, dah xde pulak... =.= so yang ni just amik untuk korang tengok-tengok je la...

Visor yang ni okey cantik....so kita kasi buang visor yang kat helmet atas tu, ganti dengan yang ni...kan WOW tu!!~ ^_^

Goggle ni mesti kena ada oke kalau pakai helmet ni...kalau xnak pakai goggle, kena pkai lense kat helmet dia...karang time ride, habis masuk semua debu-debu ke pasir ke batu ke tercampak kena mata, haa kan dah susah.....

Yang ni jersey dia...design x cantik...tak banyak pilihan sangat...yang kat website dia ni xtau la update ke tak, sebab kalau dekat magazine/catalogue dulu tu, banyak pulak design2.....

Haa...Fox pant yang ni syerra suka!!~ ^_^ Stylo sangat

Fox long sox!~ nak pakai boot kena pkai sox!~ Polka dot...Comel je!!~ ^_^

Yang ni boot dia...pon tak banyak pilihan...tapi sangat berat....=.=

yang ni namenye Roost Deflector...Chest protection....better pkai kalau nak gi main kat trek...

yang ni pulak knee protection...untuk cover tempurung lutut korang...

yang ni pulak elbow protection...melindungi sendi-sendi siku supaya kalau terjatuh ke apa ke kan, xde lah terkehel teruk sangat... =)

Last but not  least, gloves!!~ 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lengkap dah semua!!~ ^_^ fyi, sebenarnya dulu syerra kalau klua pon takde lah lengkap pakai semua ni...dah macam robocop pulak!!~ =p Ada pon pakai pinjam dia punya sebab dia kata untuk safety...tapi tak rasa selesa lah...mungkin sebab x kene saiz....bila pakai 1 badan rasa berat and susah nk jalan....adeyh!!~ so, yang kat atas tu semua syerra attach untuk bagi korang semua tahu serba sedikit la...haish!~

Bila tengok balik topik kat atas tu, kenapa ye bila kita sayangkan seseorang tu, semua yang dia minat pon kita nak minat jugak....? padahal sebenarnya tak penting pon...tapi bagi syerra, syerra cuma nak cipta keserasian tu....ia memudahkan perhubungan kita, walau pon x banyak, at least dengan berkongsi minat yang sama, kita dah ada something kat situ... =)

Dan sekarang, bila dah single ni, minat tu tetap tinggi dalam diri syerra...bila nak buang, atau tinggalkan, rasa sayang....because korang tau tak, ini namenye SKILLS...kita ada, orang lain mungkin takde...so, itu sesuatu yang membanggakan for me... ^_^

Till hands meet keyboard again....buhbye and assalammualaikum....~

Picture to burn... YOURS!

 
State the obvious, I didn't get my perfect fantasy
I realize you love yourself more than you could ever love me
So go and tell your friends that I'm obsessive and crazy
That's fine I'll tell mine that you're gay!
That's fine you won't mind if I say
By the way...

I hate that stupid old pickup truck
You never let me drive
You're a redneck heartbreak
Who's really bad at lying
So watch me strike a match
On all my wasted time
As far as I'm concerned you're
Just another picture to burn

There's no time for tears,
I'm just sitting here planning my revenge
There's nothing stopping me
From going out with all of your best friends
And if you come around saying sorry to me
My daddy's gonna show you how sorry you'll be

And if you're missing me,
You'd better keep it to yourself
'cause coming back around here
Would be bad for your health...

'cause I hate that stupid old pickup truck
You never let me drive
You're a redneck heartbreak
Who's really bad at lying
So watch me strike a match
On all my wasted time
In case you haven't heard,
I really really hate that...

Burn, burn, burn, baby, burn
You're just another picture to burn
Baby, burn...

Hate it!

I don't like people who go chase after me..But it is more to 'I go chase after people'...I just love the feeling of 'try harder' to get close with the people..and i guess, they feel the same way too!~
To a new friend whom I just get to know, carefull! Cause its always ended up with 'bye bye, people' when i noticed that they are so rushing and annoying me! huh, then again i guessed they must be had the same feeling to if i'm the ones who go and chase after them...BUT, only if they don't like me la...If they like me, that's totally a different story, right? I go chase after you, and you did the same too..right? =)

Life..life...

Millions of attitudes and behaviors...sometimes, we love it, sometimes we hate it and sometimes, we don't even care on it...right? Its up to us!

And for me, I did always turning to ignore them whom i felt that very so desperate! Kau dah ade makwe, buatlah cara dah ade makwe! Jangan nak menggatal macam :@) oke! Urghh! well, people, you see this, not all people u see that is okay, is OKAY!~ =) We can't judge them by their looks, right? Not untill you know them better...

It is not like that i'm so-bagus, but this is me..this is my game..if you want to enter and join it, then u have to follow my rules...so,what i'm saying here 'take it OR leave it'....simple, right? i don't force you..and don't force yourself too if you already knows that you CAN'T do it...why wasting your valuable own time if you don't have that much passion? Even if you have that PASSION, still, it means NOTHING if you don't take any action...right? so, THINK!

I can't sleep..and I keep mumbling myself..can't keep my mouth out of it.. Ouh, gosh! T_T

Why I always think it in a different ways? Why I always think it so complicated? and why are you people bothering me?!

Pfft..!~

What I want? What I need right now? What I'm thinking of?? There's always A thing! only 1 thing!  and always THAT thing! Not other thing... T_T

Myself...
My works...
HIM...

I hate it...I hate this part right here...

I know that I loves to go chase after people..but I can't denied that I hate Waiting!

the most i hate is I NEVER HATE WAITING for him...DAMN! sangat kasihan tau...

Letting go other people, just to be with him, just to get back with him and I don't know why I can't let go all this crappy thing and still standing here...

And like usual, there was always 1 single thing that could change my whole mind towards new relationship that I'm engaged with...HIM...that's why I'm afraid to accept people...Because I know that I'm not strong enough to let go all of the things I've gone through with him...There is nobody can pull me out of here...And I'm not strong enough to go out alone from this place...Cause I feel like this is the place where I belong...

No doubt, deep in my heart, I'm waiting for someone else to bring me out of here..But until now, there's nobody who succeed. They are not strong enough to take me out from here...And my feeling is too strong to not change compare to them!

It's not that I'm too choosy...

Pfftt...!~

I don't know what spells he used on me...Why this feeling is so strong? Why I can't let anyone else to enter my heart even when I'm single and available? Why its still locked when I've tried so damn hard to break the chain surrounding my heart? 

Where is the key?? Where is my key?? T_T And I guessed I don't have it! Its not with me...I couldn't find it here with me...Its with him...And I'm not so sure whether or not he still keep it safely with him? There is a possibility where he might lost it....or, he might throw it away. In that case, what I'm supposed to do then?? How can I open it without the key?? T_T malangnya....Ouh!

I'm afraid...

Afraid to be heartbreaker again..and again..Yes, I like them! but i'm not flirting! and I can't love them as much as I love him! My feelings towards them can't exceed my feeling towards him! Never!

Can't someone brave enough to hold me? please...

OUH! BENCI LA! :@)

14th day of the month...

Its time again...dan aku tak pernah bosan mengira hari-hari yang berlalu...14th day of the month...its been 25 months, dan aku masih lagi berdiri disini...at the same place, with the same feeling, same memories and same hope...bila la aku nak bangun dan sedar dari semua ni agaknya? why i don't have any strength to give up? when i knows that there is no use! i'm not so brave to to leave all this...mungkin aku yang bodoh agaknya...I don't know...maybe I'm too dumb, but i had never blamed him for what happened between us...

And today is 14th day of the month...I loves 14 and I hates 14 too...I loves 14 because it was the anniversary date...and I hates 14 because I never hates to counting the days although now all mean nothing anymore...Sob!~ Sedihnye tau! 

Wake up!~ wake up!!~ i need to wakes up...i means i really need to wake up from this long sleeping, this long dreaming...But I want to wake up in the state of amnesia...so I wouldn't remember anything...anything that would remind me of him...anything that hurt me...Bagusnya lah kan kalau otak aku ni macam CPU, boleh pilih mane nak delete dan mane save...Sedih okay!

 

Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on

Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...
Anymore...

You got what you deserved...Hope you're happy now...Coz everytime I think of her with you...It's killing me inside, and now I dread each day knowing that I can't be saved from the loneliness of living without you

And I don't know what to do...Not sure that I'll pull through...I wish you knew...tapi kau semacam x pernah paham or tahu bila sepatutnya kau boleh paham dan boleh tahu...

Dan hari ni 14 haribulan....reminder yang telah aku setkan selama berbulan-bulan...it has been 25  months already...and it is really sad knowing that i can't move on my leg from this place...Shame on myself for not being so strong...T_T malu ke? 

Dear God, If I'm not meant to be with him, please take all the memories far away from me...Delete it forever! I just don't need it....I missed someone special called me Mummy.... "Ddy takkan kahwin dengan orang lain selain Mmy...." That was what Daddy had promised to Mummy...Tapi nampaknye ddy dah mungkiri janji tersebut....How sad!~

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
 

Dan kenapa pulak la lagu Shontelle ni tepat kena batang hidung aku... Pfft!~ Impossible and Perfect Nightmare... T_T

Dingin...

Fiona merenung kaku hp nya...Setitik, dua titik, air matanya mula berderai...jatuh menuruni pipinya... Dingin... Itu yang amat dirasakannya... Kesuramannya jelas terasa... Btol ke...? Fiona x dapat terima semua ni.. Kemana hilangnya kegembiraan dahulu? Kemana perginya keceriaan yg sebelum-sebelum ini? Betul ke sudah hilang semuanya? Semua yang dipertahankan selama ini...? Kemana perginya ikrar-ikrar dan janji-janji yg pernah dilafazkan suatu masa dahulu...? Fiona menutup matanya rapat-rapat dan menarik nafasnya dalam-dalam...Perlahan air matanya gugur lagi...

"U da smakin sombong dgn i...klu boleh u mcm dah xnak lgsg i contact2 dgn u...i dpt rasekan kedinginan  u..sgt2... 1 hari i akan pergi trus dr hidup u utk selama2nya... tp bukan skrg, sbb i masih x berputus asa pd pegangan i..i tau u da troskan hdup u dgn baik skrg ni...tp i masih blom dpt troskan hidup i lg...i masih dibayangi dgn byg2 u!"

Itu sms yg dihantarnya kepada Jason. Sungguh! Fiona amat2 kecewa dgn semua yg blaku...I tried it again and again, and everytime I tried it, it did broke my heart into pieces...n DAMN u for that!  Fiona sedar, segala tindak-tanduknya hanyalah akan melukakan dirinya sdri..tetapi entah mengapa, tak tahu dimana kebodohannya, dia x pernah berputus asa mahupun jemu mencuba terhadap Jason.


Tiitt..Tiittt...


Hp nya berbunyi menandakan sms masuk. Fiona merenung skrin hp ny. Dari Jason!


"Jangan buat saya sedih n mula berfikir mcm2..."

Fiona tau, jauh,jauh, jauh dan jauuuuhhh di dlm hati Jason, Jason masih menyayanginya... Btol ke? Sekadar nak sedapkan prasaan sdri...

"Maaf, sy x bniat nk buat awk sedih..atau nk buat awk fikir mcm2...sy x bniat nk mengganggu ketenteraman awk... cuma sy x dpt cari jln mcm mane nk mlupekan awk & sgla kngn kita...sy x dpt cr jln kluar utk troskan hdup sy mcm awk..."

...Dan Fiona terus hanyut di dalam perasaannya sampai lah dia tertidur....