Salam and great day...

Nothing much to post this time...just my uncomfortable feeling playing around inside me... =.=

Do I have to look at it over and over again? And keep repeating it on the next day and everyday? Do I really have to care about all this? Why? Why I finally turned to the old me? Where is the new me that created by Daddy? Is not that I regret when I come back to the old me, but it is a pleasure when I finally can a little bit breathe…well at least, this is what I want for all this while…but the question is ‘do I really need this breathe?’…these ‘a little bit breathe’…? After what I’d been through all this while…do I deserve this? Well I don’t care much whether I deserve it or not…it is not important for me anymore… not any longer…

It’s been a while…to keep the feelings save with me…to just shut up and pretend that ‘Dude, I’m okay!’…where actually I’m much more suffered inside…am I going to tell the world that I regret all these? Nop! Never! Though sometimes the pain hurt too much, but this is the road that I chose… I will never turning back though actually there is much more thing that I can deserve for it...

People tends to believe what they want to believe… it is something that we hold tight…something that we will never let it go…something that we will set in mind…something that we try to make it real… to make it really happen… but, is it same between what we want to believe, and what we going to feel? Something that we want to believe, is not yet happen…so it lead us to make it happen…(the ‘believe’ to be happen) and something that we are going to feel, is something that we want to maintain it or to change it….So what I’m going to say here, we must feel it first before we can believe it!~ believe without feel is same like a looser…  how are you going to believe it if you don’t feel it?? Am I right? And yes, true to my words…

….sigh….

I don’t know what I’m up to now? What I’m thinking? And what have I done? Is it wrong or is it right? Is it selfish or not? Is it might hurt somebody else or not? Or is it might hurt my ownself? Am I not good enough to handle the situation or am I too good? And FUCK all that feeling… I’m the middle right now…

I must keep focus on myself…can’t think about others too much…must be a little selfish…that was what Daddy taught me since the first day I knew him…well, I do admit that sometimes what he said was true… but I’m only high my ego when the situation forced me to do so… 

the questions is: AM I TOO EGO? =.= u tell me!~