14th day of the month...

Its time again...dan aku tak pernah bosan mengira hari-hari yang berlalu...14th day of the month...its been 25 months, dan aku masih lagi berdiri disini...at the same place, with the same feeling, same memories and same hope...bila la aku nak bangun dan sedar dari semua ni agaknya? why i don't have any strength to give up? when i knows that there is no use! i'm not so brave to to leave all this...mungkin aku yang bodoh agaknya...I don't know...maybe I'm too dumb, but i had never blamed him for what happened between us...

And today is 14th day of the month...I loves 14 and I hates 14 too...I loves 14 because it was the anniversary date...and I hates 14 because I never hates to counting the days although now all mean nothing anymore...Sob!~ Sedihnye tau! 

Wake up!~ wake up!!~ i need to wakes up...i means i really need to wake up from this long sleeping, this long dreaming...But I want to wake up in the state of amnesia...so I wouldn't remember anything...anything that would remind me of him...anything that hurt me...Bagusnya lah kan kalau otak aku ni macam CPU, boleh pilih mane nak delete dan mane save...Sedih okay!

 

Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on

Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...
Anymore...

You got what you deserved...Hope you're happy now...Coz everytime I think of her with you...It's killing me inside, and now I dread each day knowing that I can't be saved from the loneliness of living without you

And I don't know what to do...Not sure that I'll pull through...I wish you knew...tapi kau semacam x pernah paham or tahu bila sepatutnya kau boleh paham dan boleh tahu...

Dan hari ni 14 haribulan....reminder yang telah aku setkan selama berbulan-bulan...it has been 25  months already...and it is really sad knowing that i can't move on my leg from this place...Shame on myself for not being so strong...T_T malu ke? 

Dear God, If I'm not meant to be with him, please take all the memories far away from me...Delete it forever! I just don't need it....I missed someone special called me Mummy.... "Ddy takkan kahwin dengan orang lain selain Mmy...." That was what Daddy had promised to Mummy...Tapi nampaknye ddy dah mungkiri janji tersebut....How sad!~

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
 

Dan kenapa pulak la lagu Shontelle ni tepat kena batang hidung aku... Pfft!~ Impossible and Perfect Nightmare... T_T